Allow me to start 2016 by sharing what I learned during my first Sunday Service for the year. The pastor talked about “The Language of Letting Go.”
Coming from the holidays, I was like any regular Joe who was feeling lazy to get out of bed and attend Sunday service. I don’t know what made me do so but I’m glad that I did although I can do a better job next time and ensure that I get there on time.
The message revolved around how we can learn the Language of Letting Go as we start 2016. The message really did hit home for me as I went through a tumultuous Q4 in 2015.
Pastor Bing talked about why Joseph decided to let go of his desire for revenge against his brothers. First, Joseph decided that he does not want to be like them and pain them the same way they did him. After going through a break up in Q4 last year, I realized that God was reaffirming me that I made the right decision of leaving the relationship with love and not with hate or bitterness. My partner back then decided to let go of what we had. It was one of the most painful things to go through but I too decided that I will walk out the door with a luggage of love and not burden myself with a baggage of hate and a suitcase of bitterness. Twas a really difficult thing to do knowing that I was going through so much pain but I held on to the source of love (God), went through the pain with the people He sent my way to ease the pain and they reminded me that love has many forms and that they were one of its many forms. I came out of that dark tunnel without seeking revenge or having any ill will. Today’s message reaffirmed my past action that I too do not want to pain another person the same way that I was pained.
Second; Joseph realized that by seeking out revenge against his brothers that the one who would suffer the most would be his father, Jacob. The wrong person always gets the brunt of the revenge. I decided that no one needs to get caught up in the cross fire and that I still value the relationships that I have with people more than I value immediate emotional gratification.
Third; he saw that if he puts a wedge between him and his brothers that it would lead to him losing his family and being alone for the rest of his life. No matter how much pain one goes through, one must always put value on the person and not the emotion. Hurtful words once uttered can never be taken back. I am glad that I didn’t place a wedge between us. Don’t get me wrong, I am still hurting and still recovering and I am taking it one day at a time.
Fourth; in his times of meditating, Joseph realized that his revenge was not wanting justice but using his power. People hurt us and our basic instinct is to hurt them back and most of the time, it really isn’t about justice but about using our power to also cause the same amount of pain if not greater. By doing so, both sides end up hurt and in pain. Life is too short for that!
Someone (I forgot who) said that we may not have the power to change the outcome but we have the power to stop thinking about them (those that pained us) and to stop ourselves from thinking that we are victims.
The Language of Letting Go means to let go of our pride, to say “I’m sorry” without excuses, not having a defensive explanation when doing so, having a straight forward acknowledgment of the pain given to another person and it is accompanied by a credible promise to fix the situation.
The Language of Letting Go also leads to the language of kindness. Ephesians 4:32 says that “Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other…” One cannot really let go without pairing one’s decision to forgive the other with the genuine desire to be kind and loving at the same time. I know that this is going to be the most challenging step but I will continue in my prayers that God grants me the ability to pair forgiveness with kindness and love.
As I let go of 2015’s hurt, pain and sorrow; I look forward to embracing the joy and love that 2016 is going to bring my way. As I officially start blogging here in WordPress, I hope that by sharing my past and my present that it helps bring joy and love to your future.